Chipotle Cup Stories: Beyoncé and Solange. A story about the elevator, the patriarchy, and Chipotle's tasty new sofritas.


A review of Mountain Dew Game Fuel for Maura Magazine

The Biography of Paul Ford at Medium

Two stories ("Cell Phone Heart" and "The Demon of Carlisle Castle") in We Are The Friction

Guest Recommendations and my scary visage for Bygone Bureau

Emotional Transit on tumblr

A story about Pumpkin Spice lattes in Issue 9 of 1/100

The Complete Biography of North West in The Morning News

A review of Soda Shaq in Maura Magazine

A Penthouse letter at tumblr

Mutant Limes, a review of Bud Light Lime Marg-A-Rita at Maura Magazine

The Beautiful Dark Magick of Lip Synching for TMN

A story about Celebrity Butts in the Ahoy Booty zine

An interactive story about Twitter called Today on Twitter

A story about everything that happened in popular culture in the last two weeks called 15 Pop Cultural Abysses From Which There Is No Escape

A story in TMN about selfie culture called How Amanda Bynes And The Teens Saved The Human Race

Cultural Literacy For Old People i.e. Famous People You Haven't Heard of, in The Morning News

Reviewed MTN DEW KICKSTART for Maura Magazine #13

Wrote The Pictures of Our Children for Sundoglit

I've been writing a weekly-ish column about celebrities for TMN

My story Joru's Hand was nominated for a Pushcart Prize (?) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maura Magazine
Facebook Is The Greatest Website In The History Of The Internet

The Poor Press
Things You Notice In A Fire

Amy Spalding's Musical Theater Monday
Memories of Pippin

The Good Men Project
Joru's Hand

Necessary Fiction
David Hasselhoff's Game of Sexual Jungle Cat

The Morning News
How the Dead Live
Baby's First Internet (with Kean Soo)
How Everything Turned Out
An Online Petition To Save The Redwoods (Part One, Part Two, Part Three)
New Fathers Roundtable (Part One, Part Two, Part Three)
Worried About Celebrities
Behind The Scenes: Untitled Fall Project
What I Did On My Summer Vacation (with Reuben Stanton)
The Vanishing Act (with Josh Allen)
11 Stories About Cross-dressing
Kayley's Super Power (with Sam Brown)
Kevin Fanning's Home Security Basics
Since Your Father Tried To Kill You

What It Meant To Be The Universe
The Time Between Ordering And Eating

Delve magazine
The Person Who Lives

Word Riot
Totally Confident

Emails From Dead People

True Things About Trish
What To Do When You Enter The Room

Opium Magazine
My Pornstar Friends

My Deposition About God's Lawyers

Iowa Web Review
dear mr thomas

The Book of the Dead
The Skeleton and The Crab, with Jeremy Myser
The Cruise, with Josh Allen, and screw you Toby for taking the site offline.

Six Sentences
Building The Perfect Lolcat

Surgery of Modern Warfare
When Your Mother Was A Spy
A Critical Defense of Jem and The Holograms

1000 Ridiculous Tragedies
My New Machine


I was the Necessary Fiction Writer in Residence for May 2011.

Interview with CBC's The Current for a segment on Awesome Jobs.

Flavorwire interview about Jennifer Love Hewitt Times Infinity.

Reverse-interview with Josh Luft.

Interview with David Barringer for WordRiot.

Interview about beverages for the Rock Band podcast.


Jim Bennett turned my story "The Vanishing Act" into a short film.

Britt Parrott turned my story "Night-Blooming" into a short film.

I starred in a video about something called The Ostrich Hammer.